It can buy a house, but not a home.
It can buy a bed, but not sleep.
It can buy a clock, but not time.
It can buy you a book, but not knowledge.
It can buy you a position, but not respect.
It can buy you medicine, but not health.
It can buy you blood, but not life.
It can buy you sex, but not love

We tell you all this because we are your friends,
and as your friends we want to take away your pain and suffering...
so just send us all your money and we will suffer for you.

Make your check payable to:

Internal Revenue Service
P.O. Box 12345
Cincinnati, OH 58764
;-)